De ce pe 24 decembrie eu sunt la munca?
…poate pentru ca sunt fraiera. Sau poate pentru ca mosului i s-au terminat zilele de concediu din sac tocmai la mine. Dar uitandu-ma in jur, vad ca nu am fost singura ghinionista. Daaaar, am fost singura ghinionista care probabil nu avea cafea in casa de dimineata. So, se pare ca ajunul Craciunului la mine a inceput cu o mare durere de cap de la lipsa de cofeina.
In orice caz, la anu’ si la mai mare. Me iz back to work now.

Sa-ti inghete diverse parti de frig. Sa stai 10 minute pe balconul de la munca, incercand sa iti fumezi tigara de dimineata si sa iti incalzesti mainile cu o cana de cafea calaie si nasoala. Sa observi ca de vreo 2 saptamani tigarile nu mai au nici un fel de gust. Sa nu iti mai simti extremitatile cand intri inapoi in birou. Sa iti dai seama ca e sambata, e ora 8 jumatate dimineata, si tu esti la munca. Oooo, ba chiar mai mult: iti dai seama ca muncesti, in timp ce o jumatate din echipa are concediu. Rezultatul: muncesti dublu. Dar nu e panica… se reolva cu o tastatura proiectata printr-un geam - moment in care iti dai seama ca esti inconjurat de alti 50 de oameni care vor sa faca acelasi lucru. Singurul lucru care te face sa te simti mai bine: si seful tau este la munca. Si sta mai mult decat tine.

In alta ordine de idei, miroase a iarna. Poate cand o sa ninga o sa fie mai cald. POATE. Pana atunci mai e de asteptat un craciun fara zapada, un an nou geros si munca intre cele doua.

Anyway… am adormit pe tastatura. Noapte buna.

thinking

She opened her eyes. It was still dark outside. It was just one of those wet autumn mornings. She lingered in the warm sheets for a while, until she felt the smell of fresh, hot coffee. With the blanket wrapped around her, she followed the smell. There was noone there, just the steamy kettle on the stove. She poured herself a cup and opened the balcony door. She sat on a chair, sipping coffee and closing her eyes. Then …

She was dreaming. She dreamt of opening a drawer of memories. She dreamt of flying through a cloud of snow. She dreamt of closing her eyes and walking on a ray of light. She dreamt of happiness.
Memories were tumbling through her head, fighting over which one is the most pleasant, until they had reached an agreement: they all made her smile.

Then… she felt embraced. And warmed up. And happy.

Oh… and a kiss on the cheek.

She was actually happy.

Alearga, fuge, se-nvarte si cade. Se ridica si incepe sa alerge din nou. Libertatea nu a fost niciodata atat de dulce. Avea un zambet inems pe fata, si se bucura de fiecare lucru mic. Se obisnuise ca toti sa o priveasca asemeni unei nebune. Nici nu ii mai pasa. Se plictisise de toate fetele acre ce treceau zilnic pe langa ea. Se plictisise de tot. Acum se simtea altfel. Nici nu stia de ce, dar nu prea ii pasa. Doar se bucura de tot…

Trecuse o saptamana. Sentimentul tot nu o parasise. Devenise dependenta de el, ca de o tigara fumata prima data dupa ce s-a ridicat din pat dimineata. Se simtea bine in pielea ei, prima data dupa mult timp. Ii placeau senzatiile pe care le simtea, si dorea sa ramana. Oglinda nu o mai ura dimineata, cearcanele ii disparusera. Avea o presimtire buna vis-a-vis de ceea ce se va intampla pe viitor. Simtea ca era in stare sa faca fata rautatii oamenilor - nimic nu o putea atinge. Avea locul ei, rostul ei si ideile ei.
Deodata incepe sa danseze. Dansa pe ritmul vatului si al noptii. Se simtea in elementul ei, libera. Viata nu a mai avut un gust atat de dulce de foarte mult timp. In sfarsit totul avea un sens.

It was a hot summer night. She went out for a walk, to clear her head. She was free now. She felt relieved, like she had never felt before. But still, she was a little worried, because she got used to her former state of mind; she was always worried about something. And now that that feeling was gone, she felt a hollow place in her soul. So she went for a walk, late at night, to clear her head. Indeed, she succeeded to relax, so she went back to her apartment. She started listening to music, and smoking one cigarette after another. She felt like she didn’t have any care in the world. It was Friday night. The clock stroke 2 am. She looked away through the window, glancing over the empty city. She suddenly felt all alone…

She woke up the next morning well rested. She then realized that the music had played all night long, and that she fell asleep on the sofa. Her phone rang. She answered in a low voice. She needed to go out.
One hour later, she was in her favorite bar. It was almost empty. She was surprised, because it was usually full. He then appeared in the dark room, and sat next to her. They started talking for hours and hours, until they forgot whether it was day or night. Then they decided to go.

She was in a good mood. She couldn’t smile though. Now that she thinks of it, she doesn’t smile that often. Not the way she used to a few years back. Not if something really special had happened. Not if… not if she felt she had a reason to. And she didn’t consider having even a little one. She reached the conclusion she was all alone, that noone cared. She wasn’t that talkative anymore. She was only a shadow of what she used to be. Now all she wants to do is to get her life back on track…